Expertise of My Ishtaar - Rights !

Archiving & lest Cherishing

Friday 8 April 2011

Untitled Story - Vishnu-Nishita - The Romance in the Moonlight !


Mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hai . Bed par leta huwa ceiling fan ko dheere-dheere gol - gol ghumta dekh pak chuka hun . Kitna der yuhi khaali leta rahun . Jab se kuch shaktiyan mili hai , main ruka hi nahi hun . Sirf apne dimaag ko charo-ore chala raha hun par kahi manzil nahi soch ki . Abhi toh sirf kuwe ke paani ko naapa hai , kudna toh baaki hai . Abhi toh sirf zeher kharida hai , peena abhi baaki hai . Soniya ki itni yaad 5 mahine me pehli baar aayi. Kabhi - kabhi aisa hota tha par tab main school me tha , jab se college join kiya hun tab se Soniya ka zikr kisi ne nahi kiya par aaj Aarav ne photo wali baat ki toh khud ke emotions se main haar gaya . Ab uub chuka hun toh bed se uthke main wahi apne khidhki wali jagah pe chala gaya . Khidhki bandh hai toh kholna bhi mujhe hi hai . Khidhki kholte hi chaand ki tez roshni kamre ke andhere ko dhak dee. Yeh waqt chaand ka hai kyuki sirf sitaare hi hai jo abhi usse aakaash me saath de rahe hai . Maine ek baar phir apne wallet me rakhi tasveer ko chuwa , lekin  poore 2 saal baad . Jab school me tha tab Soniya ki tasveer school magazine se kaat kar apne purse me rakh li thi . Tab se lekar ab tak uski tasveer hai mere purse me . Na kabhi tasveer badalne ki sochi aur na kabhi phekne ki . Sach kahun toh 10th pass karne ke baad se tasveer ko haath tak nahi lagaya maine . Aaj woh tasveer dekhne ka mann kar raha hai . Wallet ko khola aur ek chain ke andar bandh Soniya ki yaad baahar nikaali . Mere haath kaap rahe hai , darr lag raha hai ki kaheen phir poorani saari baatein na yaad aa jaaye. Tasveer ke baahar nikalte hi mere aansun bhi baahar nikal gaye . Emotional hona bhi ek gunaah hai . Sochta hun ki main Aarav yaa Sanchit ki tarah kyun nahi hun . Woh hamesha khush rehte hai aur kisi cheej ki fikar nahi  karte . Main hi aisa kyu hun ? Tasveer me usne School dress pehani hain . Chehre pe ek chamak jo hamesha hi rehti hai . Baal bandhe huwe aur ek latt kaano ke upar se hote huwe chehre pe saamne aata huwa . Aankhen aisi jisme kho jaaye har bandaa . Phir socha apne andar ke naye badlaav ko . Kya hai aage ? Mera future kaha hai  ? College me yaa phir duniya ke kisi anjaan jagah pe ? Soniya ki saari baatein  aaj bhi mere dimaag me baithi huwi hai . Woh bolti thi toh mann karta hai ki sirf usse hi sunta rahu . Main apne khayaalon me khoya hun aur darwaje par koi khada hai shayad . Main dekh sakta hun ki baahar koi hai bhale hi darwaja bandh hai . Dekhne me toh koi ladki hai , darwaaje ka kavach bhi usse meri nayi nazron se nahi chupa sakta . Kaun hai woh ? Maine socha ki bolne yaa puchne ki bajay main darwaja khol ke dekh loon .Yeh kaun ladki hai , pehle kabhi toh nahi dekha isse  ?


Darwaja khola aur dekha ki haan ek ladki hai . Isne night suit me hi yaha aane ka kasht kaise kar diya ? Iss ladki se jyada sharm toh mujhe aa rahi hai isko aise haal me dekhke . Pakka yeh Aarav ka chakkar hain . Main usko dekh raha hun kyuki bolu kya yeh mujhe samajh nahi aa raha . Wo hai ki mujhe ghurte hi jaa rahi hai . Thandi - thandi hawaayein bekhabar chalte huwe na - jaane kya kehna chah rahi hai . Chaand bhi apni roshni hum par nahi bikher raha hai . Wo apni nazrein ek tak mere chehre pe gadhaayi huwe hai . Na kuch shabd aur na koi sawaal . Sirf aankhen hi kaam kar rahi hai . Main thoda sa peeche hata aur raat ki chaandani me pehla shor ghol diya . Tum Aarav se milne aayi ho na ? Wo ladki jaise iss duniya me hai hi nahi . Bekhabar khadi hai aur apne kaam me khoi huwi hai . Kaam hai sirf mujhe dekhte rehna . Hello ! tum bol nahi sakti kya  ?Sawaal thoda sa harsh hai par maine pyaar se kiya kyuki main usko sad nahi hote dekhna chahta . Jab kisi ki koi baat buri lagti hai toh dill dukhtaa hai , aur mere se accha aur kaun jaanta hai yeh baat . Raat ki pari ki tarah mere saamne khadi sirf khwaab jaise lag rahi hai  woh . Main ab aur kuch puchta toh shayad wo gir hi jaati . Par maine pucha hi - Tum kaun ho ? Mere ek sawaal ne toh jaise usko heart-attack hi de diya . Sunte hi mere upar gir gayi . Hello ! kya huwa ? Are you fine ? Ab main kya karu? Isse kaise uthaau . Mere kandhe pe uske lambe baal  bikharne lage . Uska chehra mere T-shirt se dhak gaya. Main aur woh bahut kareeb hai aur mujhe ajeeb si uljhan hone lagi . Usko uthaayu yaa chodh dun ? Agar main hat gaya toh wo gir jaayegi aur shayad chot bhi lag jaaye usko  . Par iska kya karu ? Hello ! kya huwa tumhe ? Kaha se aayi ho tum ? " Aahh ...hmm...Sha....shayad girls hostel se . " Woh itna kehne me kitna samay lagadi . Bolne me itni pareshaani hai usko jaise uske hothon pe bhaari bag rakha huwa hai . Shayad yeh mujhse darr rahi hai . Toh ab mujhe thoda friendly hona chayiye warna yeh behosh bhi ho sakti hai . Accha ! accha ! tum yaha akeli kaise aa gayi ? " Hmm...ma...mujhe neend me chalne ki bimaari hai shayad . "  Baatein bana kar bol rahi hain aur main samajh gaya ki yeh jhooth bol rahi hai . Main jaan kar bhi anjaan bana raha aur pucha - Toh koi baat nahi , yeh bahut logon ko hota hai . Ab kya kare ? Hum baat to kar rahe hai par chuppi ke saath kyuki koi aur sun leta toh bawaal ho jaata . " Please , kya tum mujhe mere kamre tak chodh doge ? Mujhe andhere se darr lagta hai . " Maasumiyat se bolkar , adaa me lapetkar woh apni baatein mujh par madhne lagi . Mujhe thoda - thoda samajh aane laga ki  yeh kyu aayi hai . Shayad yeh iska koi majaak hai aur bakra banane ke liye main hi isko mila hun . Maine socha ki isko chalta karu . Tum khud chali jaao , mujhe bhi andhere se darr lagta hai  , byee . Itna kehne ke baad main ghum gaya aur darwaja bandh kar raha hun par usne rok liya " Hey ! please meri friends bhi chali gayi aur main akele wapis jaane se darti hun . Suno toh ! " Waapis ghumna toh meri fitrat hai . Uski aankhon ko pehli baar dekha aur laga ki yeh sach bol rahi hai. Iski aankhon me sacchayi dikhi toh mujhe yehi behtar laga ki main room tak isko chodh dun . Thik hai main tumhe chodh deta hun . Chalo - chalte hai . Maine ek upkaar kya kiya wo phir se mere upar gir gayi . Uska chehra mere kandho se takraaya .Wo  Mere saanson ke kareeb aa gayi . Uski zulfein ab mere upar shaan se udne lagi . Hawa me bhi teji aa gayi . Mausam badalna aur uska girna , dono me samaanta hai . Tum phir kyun gir gayi ? " Main behosh ho rahi hun . Ohhhh ! bachao mujhe ! "  Ek aur jhooth zubaan se nikaal kar usne mere bante vishwas ko tod diya ek aur baar. Ab yeh aage kuch bolti usse pehle maine isko apni baahon me utha liya . Wo bahut hi weighty hai , pehla khayaal toh yehi aaya. Par pehli baar kisi ladki ko apni god me uthaya , ajeeb lag raha hai . Kya feel hai yeh toh nahi samjha sakta ab . Wo mere dono haatho me leti huwi hai . Uska chehra neeche  jhool raha hai . Aankhen bandh hai , na naam jaanta hun aur na isse khud jaanta hun par phir bhi yeh meri baahon me bikhri huwi hai . Ab hosh me aa jao , main tumhe room tak chodh dunga . Its okay . Mere itna bolte hi wo hosh me aa gayi , apna sar utha kar meri aankhon ko phir se dekhne lagi . Chale tumhare room ? Wo na toh kuch boli aur na hi sar hilaake koi ishaara di . Bas apni muskaan se haan ka jawaab de diya . Uski muskaan bahut hi meethi hai . Gaalo pe dimples bhi hai par mujhe ab iski khoobsurati ko side me rakh-kar ,room tak le jaane ka kaam karna chayiye . Mere room se uske room tak ak safar ab shuru . Mahaul kaafi serious ho gaya toh maine thoda sa humour daalne ka socha . Tumhara weight kitna hai , by the way ? " We..wei...weight ? Kyu kya huwa ?" Kya huwa ? Tumhe utha ke le jaa raha hun , bahut bhaari ho tum sach me . Sunkar gussane ki bajaav , woh aur bhi sharmaane lagi . Iss sawaal ka bhi jawaab dene lagi - " Wo yeh week kuch chipps kha liye the , aaj subah thoda sa rice jyada kha liya . Bas ! sorry , main weight kam kar lungi kal se . " Uska jawaab bahut hi ajeeb hai . Par sunke hasi aa gayi . Apne chehre pe choti si muskaan laake maine bola ki - Arre ! main majaak kar raha tha . " Ohh ! main bhi majaak kar rahi thi . " Wo phir se gaalo pe dimplea lake hasne lagi par bina aawaaz ke . Uski muskaan kisi ko bhi uske kareeb laa sakti hai par main toh pehle se kaheen aur hi khoya huwa hun . Tumhari smile bahut sundar hai aur tum bhi . Wo hasi , phir sharmaayi . Bhool gayi ki uska sar abhi-bhi hawa me hai  . Uske dono haath mere gale pe saje huwe hai . Jaise phulon ka haar gale ko shobha deta hai waise uske dono haath mere gale ko ghere huwe hai . " Thank you . Woh kya hai na maine bahut practice ki yeh dimples laane ke liye . Tumhe yeh acche lagte hai na ? " Sawaal toh bahut simple hai par maine jawaab dene se behtar ek smile dena jyada sahi samjha . Wo sirf do hi kaam kar rahi hai , yaa toh mujhe dekhne yaa phir bolna . Jo bhi hai woh bahut pyaara bol rahi hai . Mere kaano ko wahi old - boys ki aawaaz se thoda alag  milla . Tumhara naam puch sakta hun main ? " Mera naam ? Main hamesha tumhare piche hi baithti hun class me . I m Nishita by the way ." Ohh ! toh yeh Nishita hai . Yeh  hai Priya ki dost jisko leke sab mujhe chedha karte hai . Waise yeh hai toh bahut sundar . Ab main bhi samajh gaya ki shayad yeh ladki mujhe pasand karti hai . Tum hi mere jawaab dene par taali bajati ho , rite  ? Wo phir sharmaayi , par iss baar ek vishwas ke sath aur dosti ki muskaan leke ,  " Accha toh tumhe pata hai ki main hi tumhe pasand karti hun ? " Bolte hi usne apni jeebh apni zubaan  se baahar nikaali , jaise ki kuch galat bol diya ho aur apne bole huwe shabd waapis lena chahti ho . Aise question mere saamne aaj tak nahi  aaye . Wo phir se muskuraane lagi . Apni dheemi-dheemi muskaan se wo mera dhyaan apni ore khich rahi hai . " Tum single ho ki committed ? " Yeh kaisa sawaal hai , Nishita ? " Sorry ! bas aise hi  puch liya . Hmm ....batao na . " Filhaal single hun . Aage ka nahi pata . Maine yeh jawaab thoda banke diya . Wo dheere-dheere bahut friendly hote jaa rahi hai . Uski aankhon me ab darr nahi dikh raha par dosti aur khushi ka pal mehsoos kar sakta hun main . Hume koi dekh raha hai shayad . " Kaun ? kaheen koi wardon toh nahi ? " Wo thoda gambhir ho gayi , uski muskaan bhi udd gayi . Par main hoon na sab thik karne ke liye . Nahi woh jo hume dekh rahe hai wo koi wardon nahi , balki tumhari friends hai . Wo tumhare saath hi aaye the na  ? Uska jhooth pakda gaya , usse ab pata chala . Wo apne jhooth ke baare me bura feel karne lagi -" Actually maine jhooth bola tumse . Hum aaye the tumhe dekhne , actually main tumhe dekhne aayi thi apne doston ke saath . Wo toh chhup gayi par main tumhe dekhna chahti thi toh ...Sorry for telling a lie to you . I promise yeh mera aakhiri jhooth hai tumse . " Wo itni sachchayi se sab kuch bolti jaa rahi hai . Apni har galti  ko ek sach se maaf karti huwi , jitni uski baatein pyaari hai utni hi uske jhooth . Accha kiya jo mujhse mill liya par tumhari timing galat hai . " Nahi toh , bilkul sahi timing hai meri . Seedhe tumhare kandho pe giri hun . " Bolne ke baad phir usne apni jeebh baahar kee . Jo kuch bhi kehne ko hai uske paas , wo sab wo keh rahi hai . Jaise ki kitne sadiyon se chup thi aur aaj bolne ko mila hain . Tum majaak bhi kar leti ho , nice ! " Thanks once again "  Nishita ! tumhara room aa gaya . " Ohh ! itne jaldi " Main phir se has pada . Itni bholi baatein jo mann halka kar de . Wo shayad itne jaldi room tak pahuch jaayegi , usne socha na tha . Ab mujhe intezaar hai sirf uske neeche utarne ka . Par woh toh sirf khoyi huwi hai meri baahon me . Shayad yeh tumhara room hai ? " Hmm...Haan , yehi hai . " Mujhe laga ki woh ab utar jaayegi khud se par abhi bhi woh jami huwi hai . Ab shayad tumhe jaana chayiye . Thoda sa hichkichate huwe par maine bol hi diya usse jaane ko . " Haan ! ......abhi toh hum mile hai . Anyway thanks for the lift . " Yaa , my pleasure forsure . But do loose some weight quickly . Hum phir se hasne lage . Hum dono hi apni hasi ko daba rahe hai kyuki ab hume kya bolna chayiye hume nahi pata .Accha to ab main chalta hun . Tum bhi jao soo jao . Bye. " Ruko ! " Wo apna haath uthate huwe boli . Wo mujhe rokna chahti hai . Raat bhi ab kam ho rahi hai . Kya huwa , abhi bhi darr lag raha hai kya ? Main abhi bhi apne humour ko saath liya huwa hun . Serious hona zaroori nahi hai . " Nahi ! woh baat nahi . Tum abhi jaaoge ? " Uske sawaal se laga ki woh mujhe rokna chahti hai par ab mera rukna bhi sahi nahi hoga . Haan , jaana hai room me . Waha Aarav akela hoga , usko bhi darr lagta hai andhere se , so kompany dena padega mujhe . " Ohh ! okay . Par kal class toh aaoge na ? Tum toh roz aate ho waise . " Haan aaunga , aayenge nahi toh jaayenge kaha ? Ab bye , ok . "  Thik hai bye . Lift ke liye phir se thanks . " Wo apni baaton ka end nahi karna chahti , har ek shabd ke saath ek shabd muft hai . Lekin agar main gaya nahi toh raat aise hi beet jaayegi . Ok ! Bye now . Itna kehke main peeche hata aur apne hostel ki taraf kadam badhaane laga . Wo abhi bhi mujhe jaate dekh rahi hai . " Byee Vishnu ! " Iss baar toh maine uski buland aawaaz suni . Main kuch doorie par hun par uski cheenkh mujh tak aaraam se pahuch gayi . Main ek baar peeche muda aur haath ka ishaara karte huwe chal diya waapis . Yeh kuch alag hi cheej hai par accha laga . Mann ko thodi shaanti aur dill ko sukoon mila . Agar main peeche ghumta toh woh abhi bhi wahi khadi dikhayi deti . Par main muda nahi . Waise bhaari toh wo sach me thi . Main bhale hi aage chal raha hun par mujhe peeche kya ho raha hai sab dikhayi de raha hai .Uski dono friend bhi aa gayi . Phir teeno apne room me chali gayi . Yeh raat toh har raat se alag nikli . Soniya ko yaad kiya par Nishita ne sab bhoola diya . Acchi ladki hai par mujhse door hi rahe toh behtar hoga .   

Untitled Story - Nishita and her allies' Embassy !!


[ In this part of the story , I m going to narrate the scene being Nishita and not the Lead Vishnu himself . So the lines  of mine will represent Nishita and her dialogues in usual way without double quotes . Her friends and group 's dialogue will be conversing with me i.e. Nishita and those lines will be in double quotes . Have a interesting hour ! ] 


" Nishi , tumhara aaj dimaag kharaab ho gaya tha kya ? " Yeh meri dost Priya hai aur yeh aaj class ke baare me baat kar rahi hai . Aap sab mujhe nahi jaante , Main Nishita . Iss college me yeh mera first year hai aur pehle hi din main Vishnu se mili aur pyaar kar baithi . Woh auro se alag hai , na toh kabhi galat shabd apne muuh se nikaalta hai aur na hi kisi galat kaam me uska koi haath hai . He is perfect for me . Main pehli nazar me usko kuch aur hi samajh lee thi par yeh real world hai yaha sab kuch dheere-dheere track par aata hai . Jab class me usko dekha aur college campus me usko apne doston se baatein karte suna toh pata chala ki woh kitna cute aur humble guy hai . Main usse pyaar karne lagi hun . Wo hamesha mere sapno ke rajkumar jaise mere saamne aata hai par kabhi mujhpe apni nazar nahi daalta . Baaki sab uske dost - log ladkiyon pe line maarte hai par ek woh hi hai jisne kabhi kisi ladki se galat baat nahi kee hai aaj tak aur kabhi karega bhi nahi . Main hamesha class me uske piche wali bench pe baithti hun par usne kabhi mujhe piche mudke dekha hi nahi . Itne paas hote huwe bhi main usse bahut door hun . Aaj maine Vishnu ke liye taali bajaayi thi class me , kya karu woh hai hi mera super hero . Woh meri dill ki dhadhkan hai , dhadhkan kya woh mera dill hai . Main waise toh college me padhne aayi thi par kya karu iss dill pe sabka kaabu thode hi hota hai . Jab pyaar hota hai toh duniya ki koi bhi cheej aapke pyaar se jyada anmol nahi hoti . Jab pyaar hota hai toh aapka pyaar hi aapki duniya ban jaata hai . Aapki duniya usi se shuru hoti hai aur usi ke sath khatam . Main Vishnu se aaj tak baat nahi kar paayi kyuki uski personality ke aage main bhilkul seham jaati hun . Woh itna serious dikhta hai ki uske samne zubaan kat si jaati hai . Bhale hi woh Shahid ya Shahrukh jaisa nahi hai par mere liye woh mera Ishtaar hai  aur main uski fan . " Nishi , kaha kho gayi ? Phir se apne Ishtaar ke baare me toh nahi na soch rahi ho ? "  Nahi woh kuch soch rahi thi . Aise hi kuch . " Kaise hi kuch ? Hume bhi toh batao . " Please Priya , no leg-pulling ok . " Aji , main kaha tumhara leg-pull karungi , woh to kisi aur hi fielder ke liye hai . Kyu Simmy ? " Simmy aur Priya meri best buddies hai , Priya jo hai woh Aarav ki girlfriend hai aur Aarav se puch-puch ke woh mujhe Vishnu ke baare me batati rehti hai . All about Vishnu . Simmy humare gang  ki  Miss. Naugty hai . Uske liye fun aur game top level ke hote hai . Usne hi class me mujhe Vishnu ki piche wali bench dilaayi . Woh mere liye ladko tak se panga le sakti hai . Ek baar toh le bhi chuki hai . Simmy ! tum mere pe ek favour kar do na . Simmy thoda muskurayi aur boli - " Aji deewano ko hum favour kar dete hai , aapke liye kya kare hum ? " Hum apne room me hai , bhale hi yeh samay hume soo jaana chayiye par hum girls raat me late night gossip karte hai . Yeh humara daily routine hai . Main Simmy ko kuch bolti usse pehle Priya bol padi - " Aji ! aap nahi jaanti  , Simmy madam . Wahi Raja ji se mulakaat wali baat . Kyun Nishita ji ? "  Ab tum dono toh jaanti hi ho kee maine itni koshish ki Vishnu se ek baar baat karne ki par uske samne aate hi meri bolti off ho jaati hai . 4 mahine se uske theek piche baith rahi hun par woh ek baar bhi mujhe notice nahi kiya . Agar yeh semister ke end tak woh mujhe nahi dekha toh main mar jaaungi haan . "  Arre - arre ! Nishita ji jab humare jaise dost hai aapke sath toh darne ka nahi madam . Aapko Vishnu se milna hai na  ? "Arre baba haan . Priya kitna bolu tumhe haan ? " Toh abhi milne hai kya ? " Abhi ? Par abhi kaise yaar ? Itne raat me , Wo girls hostel me nahi rehta hai jo abhi mill lun . " Tujhe milna hai ki nahi ? Haan ya naa ? " Haan par abhi kaise Priya ? Raat ke 10 baj rahe hai . Kisi ne dekh liya hume baahar jaate huwe toh problem ho sakti hai . " Koi problem nahi hogi . Simmy tu samjhana isko ." Simmy toh Priya ki baatein sunkar waise hi hairan ho gayi thi aur jab usko bolne ko kaha gaya toh - " Priya ! Nishi sahi keh rahi hai yaar . 10 baje agar room se baahar nikle toh pakka pakde jaayenge . " Par Priya ne toh jaise saara plan bana liya ho , woh toh jhakkas idea dene lagi - " Dekh hum room se baahar nikalte hi girls hostel ke back-door se hote huwe college ke outer campus me pahuch jaayenge . Waha koi nahi hoga , not even watchman . Phir campus se hote huwe boys hostel . " Main sunke bahut khush huwi par darr lag raha hai ki kaheen pakdi na jaaun . Priya tum ek baar aur soch lo . " Are yaar ! jyada important kya hai , Vishnu yaa punishment ? " Mere liye jawaab sochne ki zaroorat bhi nahi . Vishnu se pehli mulakat , main bahut excited hun abhi . Maine bhagwan ji ka naam liya aur kaha chalo girls . Hum room se baahar aa gaye . " Shhhhhhh ! koi aawaaz nahi girls . " Priya is sab kaamo me master hai . Par Simmy ko in sab kaamo me jyada experience hai  , aur main ? Mere paas sirf pyaar hai . Hum bachte-bachate boys hostel me pahuch gaye . Kisi ki nazrein humpar nahi padi . Shayad koi hai hi nahi yahaan par . Ab aage kya kare Priya ? " Ruko ! dekho woh raha Vishnu aur Aarav ka room . Lets go girls ! " Priya ne haath uthake Vishnu ke room ki taraf ishaara kiya . Par Priya ko kaise pata ki yeh Vishnu ka room hai ? Priya , tujhe kaise pata haan  ?" Wo yeh Aarav ka bhi toh room hai . " Itna kehke sweetie sharmane lagi aur apne lover ke thoughts me kho gayi . Simmy ! isse hosh me laao . Simmy boli ki aage main akeli jaaun . Main akeli kya kahungi usse yaar ? Tum log bhi chalo na . Support ke liye girls . " No , woh tumhara hai , mera nahi . Ab tum jaao akele . Hum yaheen chupe rahenge . Go now ! Be a Brave Gal now ! " Main bahut nervous ho gayi . Maine kabhi  Vishnu se baat nahi kee aur na hi kabhi Boys hostel me aayi hun . Darr lag raha hai par Vishnu se milne ke liye himmat jutaani padi mujhe . Main sehme-sehme kadmo se uske room ke door tak pahuchi . Par agar knock karti toh Aarav bhi jag jaata. Ab kya karun main ? Kash ! Vishnu jag jaaye aur mujhe dekh le . Nahi agar woh mujhe dekh lega toh main kahungi kya . Baap re ! itni tension , itni tension toh mujhe exam time me bhi nahi lagti . Vishnu ! please apne aap hi baahar aa jaao . Kya tumhe kabhi lagta nahi , mahsoos nahi hota ki koi tumhe kitna pyaar karta hai ? Main ab uske darwaze ke bilkul saamne khadi hun , shayad wo andar soo gaya hai .