Kabhi khud ko udte hue nahi dekha tha par aaj apni iss aakhiri udaan ko mahsoos karne ka mauka mill gaya. Pehle jab bhi aakash me baadlo ko dekhta tha tab inn baadlo ke alag alag shape ko dekh ke bahut hairat hoti thi. Par ab jab inn baadlo ke itne kareeb hun tab inhe dekhne ka mauka hi nahi mila. Ek baar zameen se pairo ko utha liya tab phir se zameen se kab mila pata hi nahi chala. Aankhen band hote hi maine duniya ko chodh diya. Ab to jannat me hi aankhen kholni hai. Aas-paas ki koi hulchul sunaai nahi de rahi . Jaise ki main ab is duniya ka nahi raha. Yeh duniya ab mere liye bhi mahaj ek choti si zameen ka tukdaa banke reh gayi. Marne ke baad kaisa lagta hai , yeh ehsaas ab huwa. Mera shareer zameen se takraaya to kuch pata hi nahi chala. Laga jaise ki makhmal ki satah pe leta hun . Na koi dard aur na hi koi aawaaz. Kya log aise hi marte hain ? Pata nahi yeh mere sath pehli baar huwa hai . Main end me kaha hun ? Kya main mar chuka hun ? Agar mar chuka hun to abhi bhi main usi zameen pe kaise leta hun. Itni unchhaayi se gir ke main zindaa bach gaya toh yaa to mere body ka har hissa apart ho jaayega yaa to main aas-paas sirf khoon se ghir jaauunga. Mere dimaag me pata nahi kitni baatein chal rahi hai abhi . Kya koi marne ke baad itna kuch soch sakta hai ? Phir mere dimaag me aaya ki haan ! aatma toh suna hi hai maine. Aatma marne ke baad shareer chodh deti hai aur
phir tab tak bhatakti hai jab tak use naya shareer nahi milta. Maine toh yeh bhi suna tha ki marne ke baad aatma yamlok chali jaati hai. Yamdoot aata hai , aatma ko apne sath le jaata hai. Par yamdoot to tab aata hai jab kisi ke marne ka samay yamraj nirdharit karte hai. Mere case me toh main shayad samay se pehle mara hun. To kya yamdoot samay pe aayega ? Agar aana hota toh ab tak aa chuka hota . Iska matlab kya hai ? Kya mujhe khud hi upar jaana padega ? Main kab tak zameen pe garbage ki tarah pada rahunga ? Na koi uthane aa raha hai aur na koi dekhne . Maine filmon me dekha tha ki main agar uthunga toh mera shareer zameen pe hi reh jaayega aur meri aatma apne aap upar chali jaayegi . Baap re , marne ke baad kitni planning karni padti hai ! Meri body yaheen rahegi . Aur pranshakti do jagah jaayegi , yaa to swargalok yaa to paataal. Mujhe itna toh pata hai ki suicide karna paap hai aur aaj maine yeh paap kar diya hai. Toh kaha jaaun , swarg yaa nark ? Mujhe to swarg hi jaana hai . Main bura insaan toh nahi hun. Apne sar ko ek taraf kiya par mujhe apna khoon nahi dikh raha . Upar se gira hun to khoon to behna chayiye na ? Yeh mujhe aur bhi soch me daal raha hai. Ab mujhe uthna chayiye aur maut ke baad ki zindagi jeene ke liye upar jaana chayiye. Kisi ne mujhe yeh nahi bataya ki marna kitna mushkil hai . Magar kya main hill bhi paaunga ? Kya mere body part abhi bhi kaam karenge ? Shayad aatma me haddi nahi hoti tabhi to aatma har kisi cheej ke aar-paar ho jaati hai. Waqt se pehle marna bhi kitna bada gunaah hai yaar. 17 saal ka bhoot kaisa lagega . Na main kisi ko dara paaunga
aur na hi koi mere jaise bhoot se darega. Nahi , mujhe bhoot thode hi kaha jaayega. Bhoot to wo bante hai jo apne jeevan me koi kaam adhoora chodh jaate hai. Par mera pyaar bhi adhoora hai . Mujhe na toh Soniya ka pyaar mila aur na hi main kuch ban paaya . Kaheen main sach me bhoot na ban jaaun ! Mujhe bhoot nahi banna hai , mujhe toh naya janam lena hai. Waapis aana hai iss duniya me aur kuch bada karna hai . Jo galtiyaan iss janam me kii wo agle janam me naa karne ki kasam khayi hai maine. Bas Vishnu bas ! ab tym khoti mat kar aur chal upar chalte hai . Achanak mujhe ek parchayi dikhayi di . Kaala rang kabhi acchai ka prateek nahi raha hai. Kya yeh yamdoot ki parchayi hai ? Kya wo mujhe lene aaye hai ? Mere chehre pe halki muskaan si aa gayi. Par yamdoot itna patla aur aisi ladkiyon waali adaa me kyu khada hai ? Kya yamdoot ladki hai ? Mujhe sirf kaala rang dikh raha hai , par koi jaan nahi . Aankhen mali aur dhyaan se dekhne ki koshish ki toh dikha ki ek sundar si ladki mere sar ke bilkul saamne khadi hai . Kya yeh ladki mujhe dekh rahi hai ? Dekhne me toh yeh 20-22 saal ki ladki lagti hai. Ajeeb si poshaak me khadi hai aur shayad mujhe dekh rahi hai. Uske chehre pe ek muskaan hai aur uss muskaan se shayad wo mujhe chidha rahi hai . Kuch ajeeb sa skirt type aur wo bhi pairo ke anguthe tak . Matlab koi dharti pe aise kapde pahenne ka soch bhi nahi sakta hai . Kyuki agar wo aise kapde pehnegi to sab uska majaak banake rakh denge . Yeh ladki sundar hai aur neeche se dekhne me lambi bhi hai . Iska kaale rang ka top tha . Par wo top kam aur jhola jyada lag raha hai . Usse aur jyada dekh sakta hai par dhyaan kaheen aur gaya . Arre nahi ! yeh ladki mujhe kaise dekh sakti hai ? Kya main abhi tak zinda hun? Main isse pehle kuch bolta , usne keh diya " Tumhari kismat ab bani hai bacche ! " Yeh kya hai ? Yeh koi apsara hai kya aur mujhe especially lene aayi hai shayad students group ke liye consolation prize hai yeh . Usne meri taraf haath badhaya aur kaha ki chalo chalne ka time aa gaya. Maine bhi uski khoobsurati ko nihaarte hue , uske komal haathon me apna haath thama diya. Wo mujhe lene aayi hai . Main marne ka sukh dekh sakta hun ab .
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